Monday, November 19, 2012

The Spectre - Go Unpunished - Ben Rosenthal




1. A wide panel showing a bar. A few tables are seen on the floor, some with shot glasses on them. These tables only have one or two chairs on them. 
A crook has just stumbled through the door. He looks confused. In one hand he holds a gun, in the other a black plastic bag containing what looks to be money.
Behind the bar in the background stands a barman polishing a glass.

CROOK
What the--?

BARMAN
Can I get you a drink?


2. A side shot with the bar running down the centre of the panel. On the right hand side is the Barman, pouring a shot of something into the glass he was just polishing for the crook. On the left side of the bar the crook stands, placing his gun on the bar.

CROOK
You need some bar stools here.

BARMAN
They are on their way. Slowly but surely.

CROOK
You new here? Not seen this place before. What's it called?


3. A close up of the barman's face. A shadow has fallen over his brow, eclipsing half of his face. Only his bright white eyes can be seen out of the shadow. 

BARMAN
Corrigan's


4.  Looking at the bar from from on. The Barman stands behind it, hands on the bar. In front of the bar where the crook was standing is now a lonesome bar stool.  To its side is the black garbage bag the crook was holding.  On the bar, his gun.

5. A wide panel of the bar room, similar to the first panel. The Barman is polishing a glass once more, waiting.


4 comments:

  1. The crook got turned into a barstool ?!?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I should explain - way back when The Specter use to extract his wrath by turning villains into objects, and then having those objects destroyed. For example, turn a murderer into a block of cheese and having mice eat the cheese. I thought that this was an extremely cool concept.
    My thoughts behind this piece is what happens when petty thrives get punished? The Spectre would remove them from society, but not kill them as their crimes would not warrant it.
    I actually really like this script, but now I'm afraid that it is too abstract.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Ben, the script wasn't too abstract, its just my ignorance of the character meant I didn't know he used to that to his targets. Which is why I was shocked by the transformation.

      The concept of the vengeance fitting the weight of the crime is a really wonderful one. I like that you explored it in a way that wasn't obvious.

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  3. I really like the idea behind this one (I had no idea The Spectre used to to that-- it's twisted but a great visual and hook).

    The script is a little abstract (at first I thought Corrigan's was some kind of limbo for wayward criminals souls-- maybe I'm too abstract as well).

    The script could have maybe made the transformation more clear.

    ReplyDelete

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