Panel 1: The President of the United States, same one as in the real world, sits at his desk, one hand holding his phone to his ear, other hand holding some sort of paperwork he's reading over. He's determined and more occupied with the work at hand than the conversation, but still has a smile on his face. A clock in the background reads 8:30.
Caption: NOVEMBER 7, 2012
PHONE: EVEN THOUGH WE AS A NATION MAY HAVE DISAGREEMENTS AMONG OURSELVES, WE CAN STILL WORK TOGETHER TO SOLVE PROBLEMS WHEN IT REALLY COUNTS. I'VE GOT TO SAY I'M GLAD WE HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO TRULY UNDERSTANDS THAT.
POTUS: ME TOO, CAP. AND I ALWAYS DID LOOK UP TO YOU.
Panel 2: Same mileu as the first, different paperwork, same expression, 8:50.
PHONE: VERILY, I KNOW NIGH LITTLE OF THINE MORTAL POLITICS, BUT THEY SEEM A DAMN SIGHT HARDER THAN SIMPLY KILLING THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE VILLAGE TO OBTAIN DOMINANCE OVER HIS LAND AND WOMEN. I DOFF MY WINGED CAP TO THEE, AS THOU HAST CONQUERED A SYSTEM I FALL SHORT OF EVEN UNDERSTANDING, NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. BUT EVEN YOU HAVE NOT KNOCKED OUT THE TEETH OF THE MIDGARD SERPENT WHILST THOU WEREST EVEN IN ITS OWN MOUTH, SO AS MY COMPATRIOT CLINT BARTON WOULDST SAY, "NEENER NEENER".
POTUS: YOU EVER DEAL WITH A TICKED-OFF HILLARY CLINTON?
POTUS: I REST MY CASE.
Panel 3: Same general environs as the 1st and 2nd, 9:16. The president is looking a bit annoyed.
PHONE: LISTEN, BUB, EVEN THOUGH YA GOT TA BIN LADEN BEFORE I HAD THE CHANCE, I DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST YA.
PHONE(SMALLER): LOGAN! THE PRESIDENT IS A BUSY MAN AND DOESN'T NEED THE HASSLE OF YOU CALLING HIM ALL THE TIME! LET HIM GET BACK TO HIS JOB!
PHONE: *SIGH* FINE, KITTY. I'LL LET THE PRESIDENT GET BACK TO WHAT HE WAS DOING.
POTUS: YOU'D BETTER LISTEN TO HER, LOGAN. SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE'S GOT A BETTER HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS THAN YOU DO.
PHONE: AH, WHADDA YOU KNOW? YOU DON'T HAVE ADAMANTIUM BONES.
Panel 4: 10:02. The president doesn't even look like he's listening, just going through the paperwork.
PHONE: HEY BARRY, THIS IS DEADPOOL. I JUST WANTED TO SAY, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART--
Panel 5: 10:03. The president has the phone at arm's length, and is calling out to the other room.
PHONE(Much louder than before): BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY HOWARD STERN'S PENIS!
POTUS: ANYONE KNOW IF WE CAN JUST BLOCK ALL CALLS FROM CANADA FOR THIS PHONE? MAYBE REDIRECT THEM TO DIAMOND JOE? ANYONE?
If you don't know Diamond Joe, now you know.