Friday, November 2, 2012

Murder Book - Local Office - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Long shot of a near-empty bar, with only a few janitors cleaning up and TOMMY REYNOLDS sitting in a chair on the stage, his head in his hands. We can see a REYNOLDS FOR MAYOR banner being taken down.

CAPTION: 3 AM, ELECTION NIGHT

Panel 2: profile view of Reynolds in the chair, a handkerchief to his nose. We can see that tears are streaming down his smiling face. We can also see a man in the background, in a tattered suit.

REYNOLDS: SNRK--

Panel 3: Reynolds is raising his head, and we can see the man from panel 2 behind him, putting his hand on his shoulder.

MYSTERIOUS MAN: MR. MAYOR.

Inset panel: Reynolds is surprised.

MYSTERIOUS MAN(OP): DON'T TURN AROUND.

REYNOLDS: WHO... WHO ARE YOU?

Panel 4: Close on the mysterious man's hand, which contains a switchblade close to the man's neck.

MYSTERIOUS MAN: I'M JUST A CONCERNED CITIZEN, MR. MAYOR.

MYSTERIOUS MAN: A CONCERNED CITIZEN WHO WANTS TO TALK A WHILE.

3 comments:

  1. Tight and tense with a great cliff hanger. I really dug those last two pieces of dialogue, they make for a great hook.

    Also the image in panel 2 of his smiling tear covered face would look amazing on the page, such a complex emotional note to hit.

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  2. That was awesome, Niel. A chilling look at one man who's taking the "public servant" thing maybe a little too far. The dialogue in the last panel seals it for me.

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  3. Nice page and I love the last panel.

    It has a kind of gritty 'Death Wish' type vibe to it.

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